> A far-off memory

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..

~~Thursday, April 29, 2010~~

1:23 AM

wow... it has been so long since i blogged. Just wannted to post abt something usual today. While i was walking in jp, there's this model consultant - john, who appoached me. Asked whether i'm interested to be a model and stuff... caz they're recuiting actors, tv commercials and things like that...
I told him that i wasnt really interested to be a model, but he kept saying tis and tat... he gave me his name card and the company 1, donno wad "i models holding international..." and lols -.-''' gave him my no. for future contact... I guess i'll hav to reject him again bah.
Hais~~ weird experiences.

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..

~~Wednesday, April 7, 2010~~

6:51 AM

Why is my feeling always contradicting the actions that i wan?

Somedays, I've tot of forgetting u, tellin my ownself countless and multiple amt of times, repenting myself. Then Sometimes, i wonder if i should just start afresh, get into a relation, which will be my first one. This tot had been in my mind so long, yet till now, i wasnt able to accept one.

For me, love is perfect. One and only is sufficient for my this life, everlasting. I know i'll be really devoted... tats where the fear gets into me. Frighten tat once i get into my relation, i'll never ever think of u again... I find it only rite to forget my old feelin first be4 engaging into a new one. But there's this fear of losin my feelings for u, my mind seems wanting to hold onto it. couldnt shake it off, Arghh... i guess tat obsession, too overwhelming. seriously, i do agree we aint really tat close, but tat kind of weird feelin is just there.

I tot of reasons why should i even post this, and just found out tat i actually, really wanted her to know - 'how i feel for u', by readin these... Ironically i'm pretty sure tat she will nv read my blog as how i hoped for. wad a gutless guy i am... aint daring enough to tell it straight in her face. Dreamt for best to come, but i know it wouldnt come close, as i've nv done my part. utterly stupid... hah.
Hey, no point keeping it hidden anymore... The fact is still just there, tat i still havnt gotten over her. And i feel that it's only rite for all ppl to know, tat i'm still in love wif her 'a girl i loved'. I mustn't let all havin hopes of being wif me, or giving them any false hope. I'm nt great enough for them to wait for me as how i'll continue to wait for her. I'm so damn sorry... I love her... weirdly. So, to anyone, lets just be frens :D i'm fine making frens wif anyone... but just frens! HAHA :P

I swear, u're truly a beaut... genuine feelings just for u. ~~~

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..

~~Monday, April 5, 2010~~

6:41 AM

Getting out of my emotional zone, skool really help big time. Though some part of me still has the urge to feel, there're frens who will always be beside me. I thank them for making me feel some sort better as they did their best to bring in new topic to divert my attention :D And Test too, doing those really motivates me to strive harder and be hungry for results! Same goes for my passion in basketball. Yeah, i'll try not to be so low in mood and be very ready for the fun and excitment coming in the future :)
Better will come~~

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..

~~Tuesday, March 30, 2010~~

11:18 AM

being unreasonable... we do chat here and there, alittle some times. but if u ask me, i really dont know alot abt u. As in, i didnt understand u so well till those that can start a relation. I guess i havnt really tell u how i feel for u, but actually... thinkin much, i suddenly felt that i'm in no position to say those words to u in the first place. I should have know u more, talk to u every often, chat, text u, try to understand in depth - who u are and wad are ur likes and dislikes. Since i only moderately pass in those aspects, i really shouldn't be even talking abt being wif u... hahas such unreasonable and selfish ideas. Expecting a person to love u without making much effort to get together in the first place? Hah....

In the end, just felt that it's only right not to be too greedy and take another step forward, i guess... being frens might really be a much better choice?

So, i think i'll put an end to my misery hahas, it is only right to respect u of ur life :D And also i would wan to change my previous quote to 'never let love lies in fate, u gotta be hungry for it'.

hahas!

Ok! I swear i'll never ever use the 3 majestic words like a selfish and unreasonable person ever again, but keeping it in my heart first until i've learn and understand much of the person i wanted to get my relations with - that is, to be able to chat with that person everyday, anytime, anywhere, anywhen and now. And love the person from head to toe, inclusive of the heart and mind.

Start a fresh now! :D the next person who gets in my mind, u're as good as dead xD

hey! thx a thousand million for ur cakes, i appreciate it alot :D though i've eaten lots days be4. HAhAs. I promise to get something for ur Birthday, but nt something that's with meanings. The next time u see me, i wont be habouring any weird ideas abt u anymore, rest assure :D Stay as good frens forever in this life!

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..

~~Sunday, March 28, 2010~~

5:25 AM

plain and dull... days past. my heart seems kindof empty - partically. Watchin frens and mates having their beautiful and complete life makes me jealous alittle. Admire maybe :D
Some says their life are being limited and actions are restricted... Still, i envy them, to be able to share secrets and joys with each other. Their "tank" were fully filled to the brim. Mine's half maybe? Opportunities are out there, just tat there's things i'm still unable to forget. I guess i could be the one and only stupiest guy, who could get relationships but doesnt wan it... hah -.-''
when will i forget? then i'll be able to find my next half... I'm waiting, till one day i wake up from a long slumber - tat wasnt a necessary one in the first place.
Redundant love? should i start a fresh? Dilemma

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..

~~Saturday, March 27, 2010~~

7:43 AM

Glad tat i'm finally 17... hmms, guess i cant say tat i'm young anymore. hahas... life will get better and better for me. Trust it.

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..