Thursday, June 25, 2009
8:42 AM
thursday~Wild Wild wet, so freaking tiring and worst of all, muscle cramps. acheing everywhere the next morning T.T, On tuesday, i stay up late caz after the swiming, i went to chong han birthday celebration. hahas!
, folo jun hong get some stuff xP after that, slack at home watch meteor garden... T.T so old le, but actually quite nice.
Today, went bbq, yah it was fun hahas :) but i keep having a very weird feeling. hahas its nt abt any of my frens or wad, its just myself xP i am weaken. Gd Bye...
In my heart, i always remember the answer u told me. Always stubborn, that i am, thinking foolishly that i might hav a tiny winny little small chance of getting close to u. however, i feel that i hav to face the truth 1 day. i understand that i am nt comparable to those frens of urs. i am nt saying they are bad, its just my wild imagination that i am being more far away from u, time to time. Yes, i reckon that i am jealous, i really am. it was my first ever time that i am of so much jealous. trust me, i have always been thinking of u, even in my dreams, or anywhere when i am daydreaming. i am seriously for the first ever time, deeping into some1. alot of my frens told bad stuff abt u, i really nv take it in. I just love u too much, till i am so crazy abt it... always awaiting a chance to even talk to u everyday, waiting all day long. I always try my very best to forget wad u said to me be4, and, being so thick skin that i could maybe hav a chance to be with u. However, till now, i never had a second answer from u, nt even a maybe... i had fallen finally, today, after much thoughts .oK, i blame myself that i am nt gd enough, seriously. But remember, i will nv blame u, as u are the 1 and only 1 that i love. i dont think i am able to hav any relation with any other girls in the world. seriously, as i cant giv my heart to any other 1 fully, as, no matter wad, i will still be thinking of u. Naaaa Hahas i am nt a gay and i will nv be a gay xP, its just that i understand something abt true love, thus making me loving u so much, to the core. trust me, i will nv forget u. Even 1 day, if u had a boyfren, i will still be at some place, at ur side, protecting u from any harm. I will do wadever i can for u, to make u happy. if u ever turn bad, i will do my very best to turn u back. i just wan to tell u, if possible, that i will be waiting for u, no matter how long, how far it takes, to hav a chance to be with u. maybe, just maybe, if 1 day u ever found a reliable person in ur life, i will seriously giv up on u. that will be when, i will really really try my very very ultimltly best to forget u and change my target. So for now, let me continue to be stubborn, to still believe that i will hav a chance with u. However, if u could giv me a very firm answer now whether i might hav a slightest chance to be with u, it may be gd. But, i really hoped that i will have a chance from u, as i can tell u, that my love for u, its true, and i believe, that i should be the 1 who love u the most in this world. I always wanted to prove to u how much i really love u... its just that luck is never on my side. i just couldnt, find a way to meet u face to face, to share my feelings to u 1on1. Sometime, my mouth couldnt even speak when i look at ur face directly. its just so pure and sweet, which made me so memorized by ur beauty, till i couldnt talk normally. Now that u had made alot of new frens, i do feel happy for u, seeing u being so happy everytime and having more exciting life with them. I hope that they will protect u, like how i am secretly, proving how gd u are to some of my frens, nt like wad they had thought of u. No matter wad negative feedbacks my fren say abt u, even wad stupid things u did be4, i will nv ever care abt it. I will only remember ur beauty and the kind heart u have, a little childish pranking but a lovely kind of u. Now i may not hav the chance to befrien and talk to u more than those frens of urs. I wish u will be happier without my bothering. Gd Bye, My lover...
Love Forever, Eternity...
anyway, i didnt plan to let ppl read abt this, as i felt that bottleing up my feelings is better nt only for me, but my frens, classmates too ,that i had. However, if any1 happen to read abt this, plz, dont gossip or say anything to any1. I hope that u all could keep it to urself. And worst of all, i hope no1 would accidentally talk abt this or me with her in front of me, As i hope that i could pass my day happily and carefreely... Thx x)
and this blog, i am sry, but i hav no reason to keep it alive anymore. I may blog again, 1 fine day, if i ever found out that i still, hav a chance with her, to hav interesting and fun things tgt, i may blog again. Its just that, i feel that my life wont be of any excitement without her. Du Bu Qi ... Zai Jian... da jia.i will end with this...
Love hurts. If someone ask u whom would u prefer love? friendship? it's hard to choose right? It would be also hard for me, love because u can't tell her ur true feelings because u r afraid that ur friends might suffer, friendship because u have to sacrifice ur love just for friendship. :') be happy...
These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..
