> A far-off memory

~~Monday, February 22, 2010~~

5:32 AM

Hahas a girl lend me her umbrella earlier during the heavy downpour. I asked her if her frens needs it first, but then they said it's ok. Though i got a weird feelin that they might needs it but i guess i took her umbrella as she seems to be a very kind girl and rejectin her request in front of her frens might make her feel awkward hahas. Though in the end i lend the umbrella to krystal and her fren jane [ as they mght need it more than me, caz i' a boy ] i guess i'll go to her class tmr to return her, her item, as well as a big thank u. Anw thinkin back, it was lik the same previous thing happen be4 hahas.
Skool was as usual, fun interesting and accomplishable. Haha so happy of my POA class, seems that 3yrs gonna be a real deal :D I guess god really aint that bad, i always thought god was always againsting me - just took back my wrongly words. Hope god giv me even more interesting life, that i could even forget who i really am.
Lovee, i guess it really isn't a time for me, as i wont be giving it all to who i am with for now and i'll feel guility abt it. Still needs time, i guess, when i finally ready, i'll go for it. I tell myself that it's allrite to be sad and empty for sometime, but i promise, to myself, that i aint stayin stadnent lik a dummy for ever. I'll just get one who's better, though it's gonna be hard, but then i'll make it, caz unlike be4, i gotten myself something, something that turns me into a new person.

To- the one i truly love.
i guess u even know of my blog so i find safe to write things here. it isnt alot, so i guess even if any1 reads it, it's still ok. i'm posting it here caz i dont wan to forget wad i say today, now, i wanna serve this as a memory, a good one. Maybe next time, i could be proud to tell u that i really love u before, that time - this time, as i wish to remember the feelings for u.
I guess we really aint mend for each other as we're very different. Yes, i do agree to u that to some extent we did think the same, eternity love or wadever so... but then, maybe it's smthing that keeps us distant. Ok, now abt myself and my weakness. I find myself so fkin shit, when i couldnt bring myself to tell u how i really felt. I cant express my inner self to u. i couldnt. wadever u we chat be4, no matter how stupid i felt, i just let it go... i pretend being happy in front of u, but i guess i'm just plain stupid. The real reason y i didnt start any relation was all, becaz i find it hard to forget u. I donno wtf why i feel this way though it's true that i dont know u well, the time we spend were minimal, but then, some part of me still hav u, and i know it. I do ask myself often, hey y am i still thinkin of u when theres so much wonderful ppl out here? this i do hav to agree that there's some really gd ones that i've seen. I guess i do wan to know them hahas, u know befriend with them.
Ok enough said, i'll move on. I use my next one month to socialise as well as recoving the my sadness tank and filling it up to brim with happiness. I promise, after one month's time, i'll be able to take u as a gd fren, and nt some lovely dovy. Then, I'll start my engine, to find my near perfect soulmate, which will be much better of course, i guess hahas, as i might hav some in my mind. However, wadever we changed, Do stay in touch and dont forget me, as i'll nv forget u, for makin me do those handycraft tat i dont enjoy. Jk only Hahas as it's my own stupid childish idea i think :P I hope i've stop u from feeling guility after now.
Wish u well, ur best. I will nv shred tears after this, i swear, so lets move on together.
See each other often in future, as frens - forever and never changing.

These twists and turns of fate
Little Wonders..